The Madness of Bootle Indoor Market

April Ain't The Cruelest Month

Tonite I will be locking up a new bike with a Miche Primato chain ring.

Thieves like me and you belong to morbid days in Bootle.

Pistachio Party.

Jonty's Hut - KEEP OUT.

Woof.

Change the record lol.

Stuck in a Groove / Phonovideo from Clemens Kogler on Vimeo.

Mainly good.

Hi Jim

Hi Jim,

This all sounds great. However, something has come up. Please call me urgently.

Best,

Paul.

Jim Demitriou

Googlemail is a mess. I get emails for 300 Paul Raffertys that aren't me every 30 seconds or some shit. Love this uptight dude attempting to organise a relaxing golf trip with his mate Raffo. I suspect he'd like the army more than having a laugh:

From: jim demitriou [mailto:jim.demitriou@---------------.co.uk]
Sent: 22 April 2010 17:28
To: Paul Rafferty
Subject: Golf on Monday

The Shire London Golf Club. EN5 4RE

If we go M1 1hr 30mins

If we go A14 – A1 2hrs but less traffic

Pick me up 7.15-7.30 I guess.

Arrive 9.30-10

Bacon Rolls & Tea 10am

Start 11.30 finish 4.30

4.30-6 drinks and awards

6-7.30 Dinner

Trousers and collared shirts for golf

Smart casual in the club house, smart jeans allowed.

I live in broughton Astley.

--------------

Station Road

LE9 ---

Regards

Jim Demitriou

Head of Sales

Church of LA

Guildan had better do this colour of shirt, otherwise they're DEAD.

The Stag's Head

Most of my friends tend to be reasonable people which is perhaps why I have never had the opportunity to lay my eyes on an image like the above. I have a few married friends, but I can guarantee that none of their stag party invites looked anything like this. The invite, sent via email, was coupled with a bastardization of a Rudyard Kipling poem which makes next to no sense, much like the image. Apparently a man who works in a bank made it. He has reached abstraction.

My favourite bits:

Writing "BOSS WOZ ERE" in Comic Sans on a girl's bottom. The crude replacement of the stag's head for a woman's left breast. The use of the term "lucky neegs" and the addition of a complex arrow (when a simple straight diagonal one would suffice) pointing at a black man chatting with a group of attractive women. The addition of an extendable pink tongue protruding from the stag's mouth and entering into a woman's anus.

Thanks so much, Joe. Can't wait to muse on 'Liam's Blog'.

Early Doors Variations

My friend Chris in Edinburgh gets people to go to a club to listen to him play records! He has the best flat in the whole of the UK. Seriously, his flat made me not have a nervous breakdown once. I like designing for Chris. He's like "I NEED THIS FOR THE END OF THE WEEK!" but not in capitals because he is too nice for that, and I'm all like "OK!"

Continuous variations on the Wolf Party identity I did earlier this year.

The New Navigationaries

And this will be what the new thing might look like when the thing we made goes live, live live. I'm in the process of trying to make this type into a font that you can type out with your fingers for free-as-fuck download but I don't know how to do that yet. I'm learning and learning is fun. Sometimes learning is long and sometimes longing is boring.

Get High, Stay Low

Get high.
Stay low.
Leave a dumb note for some folks you know:
"I've left to join the Wild Boys and when you read this I'll be far from home"
where the beach meets the tide and the water is black with dull desire
and the pylons hum a secret hymn for the kids in need of quiet time.
The motorway is not as free as the freeways in the films we see
where no-one learns to live alone and choose friendly roads that take them home.
1. There's tails.
2. There's legs.
Insert the first between the next.
Get in late and sleep to death:
There's sanctity in single beds.