"I think we have loads of centipedes under our bath, you know."
On answering the question "How are you?"
"PRETTY DAMN, GOOD MAN"
On racing bicycles built in a specific era:
"bikes from 1950-1978 give me a full bore bonnerfied stonka!"
On boys in bands:
"No dummy spitting. That's a one way ticket to no need central."
On Russel Grant:
"Hey we met that Astrological poofta Russel Grant who strangely and enthusiasticall
This poor guy's brain: "Get smart watching Spock and dude, your wife got her g-spot chopped off."